Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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