Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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