I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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