I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
