they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
