That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
