it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Randomize