Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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