I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
