i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
two words...techno handjob
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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