I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I have fence marks all over my body
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
