So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
