Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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