Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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