If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
