can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
