homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
