You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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