Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
