i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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