ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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