i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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