How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
