wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
