So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
