hotel room ftw
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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