There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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