whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize