Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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