Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
