Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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