I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
