porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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