he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
