Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
