I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
