I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
