the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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