you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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