$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
