i think my tv is drunk
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
