then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
