Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
