Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
