you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
