I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I bet he comes in French.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Randomize
