I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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