Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
