So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
