someone get that fucking seahorse.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
