At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
