I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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