i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
