Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
