Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
