i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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