but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize