she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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