PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
