I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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