you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
There's even glitter on my cock...
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